Day 7, Surprise!

Day 7, 10/12/12

8:07am-We steal a bunch of snacks from the breakfast buffet and head out of town.

9:02am-Gas and coffee. $3.46/gallon, $14.26 total.

10:09am-It's now 11:09am. Eastern time change and the last one we'll have to endure. This time thing is messing with my brain!

12:38pm-Stop to use a bathroom and on the door of the gas station we see a sign for a revival in town. Apparently, it's never ending. It's that good.

1:29pm-Welcome to Virginia. Sure is pretty here.

2:00pm-Stop for gas again. $3.51/gallon, totaling $33.50. I thought these prices were too good to be true but they aren't. They're real!

5:30pm-Pretty boring trip today with not a whole to see. Very loud bouts of singing in the car ensue. Not totally in key.

7:25pm-SURPRISE! We stop in at my cousins work to surprise her that we're here! She still has to work so we leave. Stupid work.

Later when Emma gets off of work we head out to her new favorite restaurant Cookout. Apparently, the concept is that they sell anything you could get at a cookout. Burgers, hot dogs, quesadillas, fries, and the like. Pretty great way to eat junk food. 

We end the night at my aunt and uncles house watching Honey Boo Boo episodes and eating the yummy Pinterest recipes my aunt is trying out. I never want to leave.

Total mileage for Day 7: 681 miles
Total driving time for Day 7: 11 hours
Total spent for Day 7: $77.76

Day 6, The King and Go Go Grumble

Day 6, 10/11/12.

7:56am-We leave our hotel and realize we now get to spend the day driving in a thunderstorm. Figures.

8:21am-We've just realized that we have to drive through Arkansas to get to Tennessee. Who knew they were all so close together? Apparently, we need to open up a map once in awhile.

9:44am-Paula decides to demonstrate to me how she can totally write with her left hand. But only in cursive. She thinks it looks exactly the same as her right hand signature. Oh my.

9:50am-
Paula, "Quick! Think of a band name"
Me, "Go Go Grumble"
Paula, "Oh my god I love it!"
Me, "Umm, it was a joke"

11:02am- We have arrived in Arkansas. They have several signs that there is no tolerance on speeding. We would oblige except for the small fact that everyone is speeding. My plan is to follow the speeders.

11:18am-Just saw an airplane wing pass us on the freeway. And another. And another. That makes three airplane wings being carried by eighteen wheelers, and my imagination runs wild with what a plane having three wings looks like.

11:46am-Another eighteen wheeler passes us, this time carrying some sort of electric power station. It may be a time travel device.

11:51am-OK, now this is getting interesting. Another eighteen wheeler carrying a tank passes us. A TANK! As in, going to war-blow people up-tank.

11:59am-I have now seen a school bus towing a car. Let me repeat that. A school bus. Towing. A car. What the hell is going on here Arkansas?!

12:26pm-Stopping for gas at the ol' truck stop. $3.55/gallon, totaling $33.07. We also picked up snacks and a magnet. $15.

3:12pm-We've made it to Tennessee.

3:30pm-Paula is a HUGE Elvis fan. I decide to make her day and take her to Graceland. We didn't have time to see the entire place but we saw quite a bit. She was pretty excited.

His own car and auto museum.

Even the crosswalks love Elvis.

The wall surrounding his property.

Reminder. When I get famous, I need these gates.

4:00pm-Back on the road again. Next stop, Nashville.

5:02pm-Saw a billboard for the Ceramic and Tile Warehouse. Well shoot me in the face, that sounds awful.

6:00pm-Stop to use the bathroom at a gas station in the middle of nowhere. In the parking lot is this little shed looking place with a sign that says 'House of BBQ'. There is a line of people in front of this place looking to order. We walk over and the sweetest southern woman I have ever met greets us. I had to have a sandwich. For $4 I may have just bought the most amazing sandwich of my life. Thank you gas station sandwich lady. Thank you.

7:45pm-Finally arrive at our hotel outside Nashville. As we check in we are debating what to do for dinner and decide to just order a pizza. The guy at the front desk tells me he knows of a great local place that delivers. OK, we'll give it a shot. Paula was completely against attempting to eat 'local' pizza in Tennessee. She was right. It was the most disgusting pizza I have ever had. Soggy crust, plain and unflavored tomato sauce, and ridiculously expensive to boot. Never. Again.

Total mileage for Day 6: 694 miles
Total driving time for Day 6: 11 hours
Total spent for Day 6: Quite a bit.

Day 5, Dead Things. Lots of dead things.

Day 5, 10/10/12

8:55am-We leave the hotel and head out to fill 'er up. Gas was an amazing $3.64 a gallon, costing us $34.58 total. I am still amazed every time we see how cheap gas is.

We also saw this sign as we were leaving the gas station. New Mexico is still capitalizing on these alien references. I may or may not have totally looked up how far away Roswell was. Too far.

11:36am-RED SLUSH TIME! There are no Sonic drive ins near where we lived in California. I've only gone to Sonic a few times but when I do, I get a red slush drink. It's heaven in all its sugary, red dyed glory. I need it.

We sit at the outside eating area while waiting for my red slush to be brought out and enjoy the sunshine. There's a nice group of elderly people sitting near us. The chairs are the most uncomfortable metal chairs I've ever sat in. Combine those chairs with the concrete we're sitting on and it makes for nails on a chalkboard feelings every time you move the chair. The group of elderly people decide to switch tables. They then insist on dragging their metal chairs across the concrete to another table. It was the most excruciating sound of my existence. And it JUST DIDN'T STOP! I'm assuming they must have been half deaf because I refuse to think that they could hear that horrific sound and just keep doing it. Just pick up the chair already!

12:09pm-It is now 1:09pm. We are now in Texas. The future. And scared.

2:33pm-Had to stop for gas in the Lone Star State. Quite a few good ol' boys in these here parts. Paid $3.55 a gallon, totaling $31.50.

2:53pm-We have a lively discussion pondering the phrase 'should of'. Why do so many people think that the word 'should've' stands for should of? It's should have! How does 'should of' even make sense? What does should of mean? I should OF went to the store? I'm sad for our future.

3:06pm-My notes say 'car is a terminator'. I have no recollection why this may be but I'm suddenly worried that SkyNet is reading this blog.

3:37pm-Dear State of Texas, Please hire some people to clean up the sides of your roads. In all the states I've ever been to, yours has got to be full of the most dead things. Every few feet on the freeway lies another dead animal. I've lost count at over 25. This is a bit crazy, don't you think? Isn't there someone you can hire that can drive around and clean these up? It's icky and makes me never want to come back. Love, me.

3:41pm-OKLAHOMA where the wind comes sweeping down the plain! Don't think this song didn't get sung a million times.

5:30pm-We get to our hotel early and head out to a local favorite, Bad Brads BBQ. It was the most delicious BBQ I have ever had.

We started our meal with an appetizer of cornbread and 'cowboy beans'. I first asked the waitress, what exactly are cowboy beans. She responded by telling me 'I have no idea'. OK then. We'll take 'em! They were spicy and delicious. The cornbread was moist, fluffy and melted in your mouth.

We had BBQ sandwiches for dinner with fried, delicious pickles. The meat on the sandwich was incredible! It was so tender and juicy. We couldn't eat it fast enough.

For dessert I opted to try the blackberry cobbler. I am a big cobbler fan and the Yelp reviews for this place raved about the dessert. Meh. I wasn't impressed. It was mushy and lacked the sweetness I usually associate with cobbler. Oh well.

Back to the hotel for us to get some much needed sleep.

Total mileage for Day 5: 529 miles
Total driving time for Day 5: 8 1/2 hours
Total spent for Day 5: Approximately 211.08

Day 4, Leaving Las Vegas

Day 4, 10/9/12

9:15am- Left the hotel. Dropped another $30 on roulette, lost it all and packed up the car with our tails between our legs. Stopped for gas at $3.92 a gallon! Can't beat that. $25 thanks to our friend Cee and her gift of a gas card.

9:29am- Our new mascot Bumblebuss the Dragon busts out into a break dance in happiness. He loves being a part of the family now.

We really wanted to stop at the Grand Canyon but had to scrap that idea when we saw how far out of the way it was. But how excited were we when we realized we could check out the Hoover Dam! I didn't realize how awesome it was going to be but it was pretty impressive. The one thing I love about driving across this country is that it makes you see how massive the world around you is. I really wanted to roll a penny down the side of the dam but Paula told me it was probably a bad idea. Good call lady friend.

10:30am- left Hoover Dam and back on the road. All this desert is starting to look the same.

10:45am- Welcome to Arizona. Thanks to my maps fun facts I learned that L.A. has more people living in it than the entire state of Arizona. That is still baffling my mind.

12:28pm- Paula has started doing algebra. I don't know what it is about road trips but whenever we go on one Paula immediately wants to put our mileage/distance into a math problem. I've told her it's a simple miles to destination divided by miles per hour. She insists that it must be made into an Algebra problem where we have to solve for X.

I also told her the GPS completely calculates all of this for us and our math is pointless and unnecessary. Nerd.

1:42pm- Time for a pit stop in Flagstaff. Flagstaff looks huge on the map but in reality looks like a town with one stop sign. We filled up for only $3.89 a gallon, total $40. I'm loving this downward trend in gas prices. Fingers crossed it continues!

2:03pm- We also decided to grab something quick to eat. This town had a Del Taco and we had our last taste of tacos with french fries. Whoever invented Del Taco should win some sort of Nobel Prize for awesome combinations. I love that I can get my two favorite things in one place. So long Del Taco. You've been good to me...but not to my waistline.

2:51pm- We have officially entered Navajo Country. All I see now are billboards advertising turquoise jewelry and moccasins. No, seriously. I feel like Navajo ancestors are rolling in their graves. Wig Wam.

3pm- Just passed a warning sign for a 'blowing dust area'. What the hell is that? Is that like a mini tornado? Don't tell hypochondriacs that this is a warning!

3:39pm- Now we are driving through the National Petrified Forest. The only thing missing? The forest.

4:17pm- We've finally made it to New Mexico. Not to be confused with Old Mexico. Paula sees what she thinks is a 'mesa'. I think it's a big rock...just like all the other rocks we are seeing. She's cute so I give her this one.

4:26pm- Paula is driving so I put on some Metallica for her. She got really excited until she discovered it's a dubstep remix. She is suddenly not amused.

5:35pm- TIME CHANGE! We've entered the future.

7:30pm- Stopped for the night in Albuquerque. Our hotel is by a Denny's so we walked over there for a bite to eat. I think we were either invisible or time stands still in New Mexico. The entire place had maybe 3 people in it, yet it took 20 minutes for the waitress to come over to us whenever we needed something. Of course our meal was wrong because she didn't write it down. I hate when they don't write it down. There is no one in this place. How could you not remember my order?! We asked for two things! I immediately hate this place.

Paula is very upset that TV starts at 7pm here. This is completely messing with our excel spreadsheet of TV shows. I mean...we don't have that. That would be crazy!

Total mileage for Day 4: 570 miles
Total driving time for Day 4: Approximately 9 hours
Total spent for Day 4: $150.77

Day 2-3, Crown & Glory

Captains Log

Day 2-3, 10/8/12 and 10/9/12

The next two days we spent in Vegas. We didn't keep track of time and barely even had our cell phones on us. It was a lovely vacation away from regular life and a chance to reconnect with nature...oh, wait. It was a chance to gamble and stuff our faces!

We gambled a lot, won some, lost more but had fun overall. I love roulette. I don't care how many people tell me that it's the worst game in the house. It's the most fun and when that little white ball of loveliness lands on my number it feels like Gwen Stefani sat down beside me, gave me a big kiss and handed me a million bucks. Don't naysay my love.

We walked around a bit and checked out the other hotels. Walking through New York, New York we stopped at Coyote Ugly to do a shot. It was $8 a shot and you got to keep the cute little shot glass. Sold! Paula chose a Kamikaze and I went with a Washington Apple. All I knew about my shot was that it had Apple pucker and cranberry juice in it. Apparently, it had something else. Paula looks at me and asks "What is Crown?"

Me: "I don't know. Why?"

Paula: "Because it's in your shot."

Me: "I'm pretty sure my shot is Vodka. It must be that."

It most certainly was NOT that. The big, burly bartender handed us our shots and 1, 2, 3 we poured 'em down our gullets. HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! My throat is on fire, I may have thrown up inside my stomach and I think my esophagus is disintegrating. It was not delicious. It tasted like it was mixed in the fires of hell and then spit on by Hitler. Once the burning stopped and I could see again I grabbed my phone and, with shaking hands, Googled 'Crown alcohol'. Oh, just whiskey. No big deal.

The next morning we had a lovely buffet at Paris.

It was so cute! The entire place looked like a little Parisian cafe.

We added the unlimited mimosas to our meal and dammit, we were going to get our money's worth. After drinking 3 each, I wasn't sure I could drink another. But we ordered a 4th like a boss and then stared at it. Finally, I told Paula to grab her glass and follow me. I jumped up and walked right out of the restaurant. I turned around and Paula is no where to be found. She soon comes around the corner laughing her ass off. Apparently, I had still had my napkin on my lap so when I jumped up I dropped it on the floor. She had to stop and pick it up and put it back on the table. She was laughing at how purposeful I got up and took off. I'm serious about my mimosas. We walked around the strip with our glasses and soon regretted our decision. Now we had these dumb champagne flutes we had to carry around. You're welcome New York, New York. Enjoy your new glassware.

We spent most of the time in Vegas gambling and lounging by the pool. Our last night there we decided to venture out and check out a gay club. I was shocked to learn that Vegas has little to no LGBT scene. All but one of the gay clubs are located far from the strip. After doing some Google research, I discovered there is a club called Krave in Planet Hollywood. Right by us? Check. LGBT? Check. No cover? Check. Easy decision.

We head over there, all dolled up and looking fab. The place is a ghost town. There are two people in the club and they both look like they are lonely and looking for love...or a one nighter. Still we grab a drink ($8 a beer!) and take a seat at the bar. The music is good but the place is just dead. What kind of gay club is this?! I know, I know. It was a Tuesday. But come on, it's Vegas!

I'm sitting at the bar with Paula and bobbing my head to the music. All of a sudden this cute gaysian boy asks me to dance with him. I jump out on the floor and we bust out our best Mick Jagger moves until I'm exhausted. I go back to my seat at the bar, where I still have my $8 beer, and ask the bartender for a cup of water. He tells me, in all seriousness, they don't have water. They only have bottled water. Really? So you clean the bar back there with saliva and olive juice? I just spent $16 on beer and you can't throw me a plastic glass filled with tap water? Get away from me.

Gay night was sadly a bust so we went back to the hotel instead and gambled some more. I made some of our money back so the night felt like a win.

What did I learn from my early birthday Vegas celebration? Vegas doesn't believe in water and the house always wins.

Them's the breaks.

Back to NY, Day 1.

Well, we decided to move back to NY. You know that that means? Another long drive across the country and the rebirth of our road trip blog.

Keep reading for the next few days of Amber and Paula's Superfantastic Road Trip Travels.

Captains Log

Day 1, 10/7/12

10:00am- We officially leave Torrance. The movers took everything we could stand to be parted with and we took the rest. First stop...mani/pedi's!

We stopped off at our favorite nail salon and got a bit pampered. I talked Paula into a fancy spa pedicure which she immediately regretted. That's what I get for not staying in my lane.

11:53am-Left for Vegas! First stop was to gas up. We filled up the tank for $4.57 a gallon. This road trip is going to bankrupt us at this rate!

1:15pm- We've now entered the land of The Hills Have Eyes. I do not want to get stranded in this place. I'm already picturing some freakshow coming out of the woodwork while I'm stranded on the side of the road and dragging me back to his lair where he collects hair dolls and belly button lint. Get me out of here!

2:07pm- Starting to see a lot of signs for attractions in Vegas. Several have passed by advertising Ventriloquists. We've both now discussed and realized we hate ventriloquists. A) It's creepy. B) We can see your lips moving. You're not fooling anyone. We've also realized we have no idea how to spell ventriloquist. (Thank you spellcheck!)

2:26pm- Are we in Nevada yet? Saw a sign for a California welcome center which usually means we're almost to the border. It's been about a half an hour. Are we there yet? How bout now? Now?

3:26pm- Crossed into Nevada for realsies. Vegas here we come!

3:51pm- Is it Vegas? It's shiny! Nope...False Vegas. Crying ensues.

4:00pm- Helloooooo Vegas! Checked into the Excalibur and promptly went to the bar for a beer, a shot and put some money on roulette.

After checking into our hotel and showering, we walked right over to Planet Hollywood and got the 24 hour buffet pass. 24 hours, unlimited buffets, 6 hotels, $40. So. Worth. It. We gorged ourselves into a glutenous coma and then stumbled back to our hotel. We gambled a bit more, lost a bit more and promptly passed out in our room about 10pm. Hey...it had been a long day.

Total mileage for Day 1: 282 miles
Total Driving time for Day 1: about 4 hours
Total spent for Day 1: roughly $39 for gas, not adding in mani/pedi and Vegas money.

Welcome to Paradise

Captains Log

Day ?, 4/5/10. We stopped for a few days so I'm not sure if I should count this consecutively or not.

We got up nice and early to head out for Los Angeles today. We had a lovely time in Oregon. Paula got some delicious food, tried Disc Golf and loved it, played volleyball and watched home movies of me. My family loves her. Who wouldn't?!

7:15am: We say goodbye to my parents and head out for SoCal.

8:07am: CALIFORNIA! We just crossed the border though its about 11 more hours till SoCal. Our excitement is premature.

California stops everyone soon after you cross the border to ask if you have any fruit or plants in the car. They take this stuff seriously. One little bug or insect could ruin the crops. Paula is amazed and baffled by this. I thought for sure they would search our car because its so full but they took our word for it. We were telling the truth anyways!

Stopped for gas twice. Once was $17 at $3.35/gallon and the second was $10 at $3.09/gallon. We realize that $3 is about standard. Ouch.

I see and In N Out Burger at the second gas stop and lose my head. We can smell burgers and my mouth starts to water. Or drool. We decide to take an early lunch. Paula is a convert. $10.01. I could do without these bible verses though.

4pm: Stop again for gas. $15 at $3.28/gallon

5:41pm: We are passing a lot of livestock big rigs. As we get near one, Paula looks at me and asks "Is that a prison bus?" I look at her to see if she is joking around. That poor girl is serious. I laugh in her face and tell her its a horse prison. I'm so sympathetic. This joke still happens to date.

A few hours later we stop in Torrance for the night. Right as we arrive on the 405 in the South Bay, a Green Day song comes on the radio. And one of the famous lyrics is, "welcome to paradise." I can't believe how eerie that is.

We got a hotel and spent the next day looking at apartments. We found our apartment on day 1. We absolutely love living here and know we made the right move.

We are just a few minutes from the beach too! Its been a difficult journey and we're still getting settled but its all worth it. Every single time I see the smile on her face, I know I'd do it all again for her.