Day 7, Surprise!

Day 7, 10/12/12

8:07am-We steal a bunch of snacks from the breakfast buffet and head out of town.

9:02am-Gas and coffee. $3.46/gallon, $14.26 total.

10:09am-It's now 11:09am. Eastern time change and the last one we'll have to endure. This time thing is messing with my brain!

12:38pm-Stop to use a bathroom and on the door of the gas station we see a sign for a revival in town. Apparently, it's never ending. It's that good.

1:29pm-Welcome to Virginia. Sure is pretty here.

2:00pm-Stop for gas again. $3.51/gallon, totaling $33.50. I thought these prices were too good to be true but they aren't. They're real!

5:30pm-Pretty boring trip today with not a whole to see. Very loud bouts of singing in the car ensue. Not totally in key.

7:25pm-SURPRISE! We stop in at my cousins work to surprise her that we're here! She still has to work so we leave. Stupid work.

Later when Emma gets off of work we head out to her new favorite restaurant Cookout. Apparently, the concept is that they sell anything you could get at a cookout. Burgers, hot dogs, quesadillas, fries, and the like. Pretty great way to eat junk food. 

We end the night at my aunt and uncles house watching Honey Boo Boo episodes and eating the yummy Pinterest recipes my aunt is trying out. I never want to leave.

Total mileage for Day 7: 681 miles
Total driving time for Day 7: 11 hours
Total spent for Day 7: $77.76

Day 6, The King and Go Go Grumble

Day 6, 10/11/12.

7:56am-We leave our hotel and realize we now get to spend the day driving in a thunderstorm. Figures.

8:21am-We've just realized that we have to drive through Arkansas to get to Tennessee. Who knew they were all so close together? Apparently, we need to open up a map once in awhile.

9:44am-Paula decides to demonstrate to me how she can totally write with her left hand. But only in cursive. She thinks it looks exactly the same as her right hand signature. Oh my.

9:50am-
Paula, "Quick! Think of a band name"
Me, "Go Go Grumble"
Paula, "Oh my god I love it!"
Me, "Umm, it was a joke"

11:02am- We have arrived in Arkansas. They have several signs that there is no tolerance on speeding. We would oblige except for the small fact that everyone is speeding. My plan is to follow the speeders.

11:18am-Just saw an airplane wing pass us on the freeway. And another. And another. That makes three airplane wings being carried by eighteen wheelers, and my imagination runs wild with what a plane having three wings looks like.

11:46am-Another eighteen wheeler passes us, this time carrying some sort of electric power station. It may be a time travel device.

11:51am-OK, now this is getting interesting. Another eighteen wheeler carrying a tank passes us. A TANK! As in, going to war-blow people up-tank.

11:59am-I have now seen a school bus towing a car. Let me repeat that. A school bus. Towing. A car. What the hell is going on here Arkansas?!

12:26pm-Stopping for gas at the ol' truck stop. $3.55/gallon, totaling $33.07. We also picked up snacks and a magnet. $15.

3:12pm-We've made it to Tennessee.

3:30pm-Paula is a HUGE Elvis fan. I decide to make her day and take her to Graceland. We didn't have time to see the entire place but we saw quite a bit. She was pretty excited.

His own car and auto museum.

Even the crosswalks love Elvis.

The wall surrounding his property.

Reminder. When I get famous, I need these gates.

4:00pm-Back on the road again. Next stop, Nashville.

5:02pm-Saw a billboard for the Ceramic and Tile Warehouse. Well shoot me in the face, that sounds awful.

6:00pm-Stop to use the bathroom at a gas station in the middle of nowhere. In the parking lot is this little shed looking place with a sign that says 'House of BBQ'. There is a line of people in front of this place looking to order. We walk over and the sweetest southern woman I have ever met greets us. I had to have a sandwich. For $4 I may have just bought the most amazing sandwich of my life. Thank you gas station sandwich lady. Thank you.

7:45pm-Finally arrive at our hotel outside Nashville. As we check in we are debating what to do for dinner and decide to just order a pizza. The guy at the front desk tells me he knows of a great local place that delivers. OK, we'll give it a shot. Paula was completely against attempting to eat 'local' pizza in Tennessee. She was right. It was the most disgusting pizza I have ever had. Soggy crust, plain and unflavored tomato sauce, and ridiculously expensive to boot. Never. Again.

Total mileage for Day 6: 694 miles
Total driving time for Day 6: 11 hours
Total spent for Day 6: Quite a bit.

Day 5, Dead Things. Lots of dead things.

Day 5, 10/10/12

8:55am-We leave the hotel and head out to fill 'er up. Gas was an amazing $3.64 a gallon, costing us $34.58 total. I am still amazed every time we see how cheap gas is.

We also saw this sign as we were leaving the gas station. New Mexico is still capitalizing on these alien references. I may or may not have totally looked up how far away Roswell was. Too far.

11:36am-RED SLUSH TIME! There are no Sonic drive ins near where we lived in California. I've only gone to Sonic a few times but when I do, I get a red slush drink. It's heaven in all its sugary, red dyed glory. I need it.

We sit at the outside eating area while waiting for my red slush to be brought out and enjoy the sunshine. There's a nice group of elderly people sitting near us. The chairs are the most uncomfortable metal chairs I've ever sat in. Combine those chairs with the concrete we're sitting on and it makes for nails on a chalkboard feelings every time you move the chair. The group of elderly people decide to switch tables. They then insist on dragging their metal chairs across the concrete to another table. It was the most excruciating sound of my existence. And it JUST DIDN'T STOP! I'm assuming they must have been half deaf because I refuse to think that they could hear that horrific sound and just keep doing it. Just pick up the chair already!

12:09pm-It is now 1:09pm. We are now in Texas. The future. And scared.

2:33pm-Had to stop for gas in the Lone Star State. Quite a few good ol' boys in these here parts. Paid $3.55 a gallon, totaling $31.50.

2:53pm-We have a lively discussion pondering the phrase 'should of'. Why do so many people think that the word 'should've' stands for should of? It's should have! How does 'should of' even make sense? What does should of mean? I should OF went to the store? I'm sad for our future.

3:06pm-My notes say 'car is a terminator'. I have no recollection why this may be but I'm suddenly worried that SkyNet is reading this blog.

3:37pm-Dear State of Texas, Please hire some people to clean up the sides of your roads. In all the states I've ever been to, yours has got to be full of the most dead things. Every few feet on the freeway lies another dead animal. I've lost count at over 25. This is a bit crazy, don't you think? Isn't there someone you can hire that can drive around and clean these up? It's icky and makes me never want to come back. Love, me.

3:41pm-OKLAHOMA where the wind comes sweeping down the plain! Don't think this song didn't get sung a million times.

5:30pm-We get to our hotel early and head out to a local favorite, Bad Brads BBQ. It was the most delicious BBQ I have ever had.

We started our meal with an appetizer of cornbread and 'cowboy beans'. I first asked the waitress, what exactly are cowboy beans. She responded by telling me 'I have no idea'. OK then. We'll take 'em! They were spicy and delicious. The cornbread was moist, fluffy and melted in your mouth.

We had BBQ sandwiches for dinner with fried, delicious pickles. The meat on the sandwich was incredible! It was so tender and juicy. We couldn't eat it fast enough.

For dessert I opted to try the blackberry cobbler. I am a big cobbler fan and the Yelp reviews for this place raved about the dessert. Meh. I wasn't impressed. It was mushy and lacked the sweetness I usually associate with cobbler. Oh well.

Back to the hotel for us to get some much needed sleep.

Total mileage for Day 5: 529 miles
Total driving time for Day 5: 8 1/2 hours
Total spent for Day 5: Approximately 211.08

Day 4, Leaving Las Vegas

Day 4, 10/9/12

9:15am- Left the hotel. Dropped another $30 on roulette, lost it all and packed up the car with our tails between our legs. Stopped for gas at $3.92 a gallon! Can't beat that. $25 thanks to our friend Cee and her gift of a gas card.

9:29am- Our new mascot Bumblebuss the Dragon busts out into a break dance in happiness. He loves being a part of the family now.

We really wanted to stop at the Grand Canyon but had to scrap that idea when we saw how far out of the way it was. But how excited were we when we realized we could check out the Hoover Dam! I didn't realize how awesome it was going to be but it was pretty impressive. The one thing I love about driving across this country is that it makes you see how massive the world around you is. I really wanted to roll a penny down the side of the dam but Paula told me it was probably a bad idea. Good call lady friend.

10:30am- left Hoover Dam and back on the road. All this desert is starting to look the same.

10:45am- Welcome to Arizona. Thanks to my maps fun facts I learned that L.A. has more people living in it than the entire state of Arizona. That is still baffling my mind.

12:28pm- Paula has started doing algebra. I don't know what it is about road trips but whenever we go on one Paula immediately wants to put our mileage/distance into a math problem. I've told her it's a simple miles to destination divided by miles per hour. She insists that it must be made into an Algebra problem where we have to solve for X.

I also told her the GPS completely calculates all of this for us and our math is pointless and unnecessary. Nerd.

1:42pm- Time for a pit stop in Flagstaff. Flagstaff looks huge on the map but in reality looks like a town with one stop sign. We filled up for only $3.89 a gallon, total $40. I'm loving this downward trend in gas prices. Fingers crossed it continues!

2:03pm- We also decided to grab something quick to eat. This town had a Del Taco and we had our last taste of tacos with french fries. Whoever invented Del Taco should win some sort of Nobel Prize for awesome combinations. I love that I can get my two favorite things in one place. So long Del Taco. You've been good to me...but not to my waistline.

2:51pm- We have officially entered Navajo Country. All I see now are billboards advertising turquoise jewelry and moccasins. No, seriously. I feel like Navajo ancestors are rolling in their graves. Wig Wam.

3pm- Just passed a warning sign for a 'blowing dust area'. What the hell is that? Is that like a mini tornado? Don't tell hypochondriacs that this is a warning!

3:39pm- Now we are driving through the National Petrified Forest. The only thing missing? The forest.

4:17pm- We've finally made it to New Mexico. Not to be confused with Old Mexico. Paula sees what she thinks is a 'mesa'. I think it's a big rock...just like all the other rocks we are seeing. She's cute so I give her this one.

4:26pm- Paula is driving so I put on some Metallica for her. She got really excited until she discovered it's a dubstep remix. She is suddenly not amused.

5:35pm- TIME CHANGE! We've entered the future.

7:30pm- Stopped for the night in Albuquerque. Our hotel is by a Denny's so we walked over there for a bite to eat. I think we were either invisible or time stands still in New Mexico. The entire place had maybe 3 people in it, yet it took 20 minutes for the waitress to come over to us whenever we needed something. Of course our meal was wrong because she didn't write it down. I hate when they don't write it down. There is no one in this place. How could you not remember my order?! We asked for two things! I immediately hate this place.

Paula is very upset that TV starts at 7pm here. This is completely messing with our excel spreadsheet of TV shows. I mean...we don't have that. That would be crazy!

Total mileage for Day 4: 570 miles
Total driving time for Day 4: Approximately 9 hours
Total spent for Day 4: $150.77

Day 2-3, Crown & Glory

Captains Log

Day 2-3, 10/8/12 and 10/9/12

The next two days we spent in Vegas. We didn't keep track of time and barely even had our cell phones on us. It was a lovely vacation away from regular life and a chance to reconnect with nature...oh, wait. It was a chance to gamble and stuff our faces!

We gambled a lot, won some, lost more but had fun overall. I love roulette. I don't care how many people tell me that it's the worst game in the house. It's the most fun and when that little white ball of loveliness lands on my number it feels like Gwen Stefani sat down beside me, gave me a big kiss and handed me a million bucks. Don't naysay my love.

We walked around a bit and checked out the other hotels. Walking through New York, New York we stopped at Coyote Ugly to do a shot. It was $8 a shot and you got to keep the cute little shot glass. Sold! Paula chose a Kamikaze and I went with a Washington Apple. All I knew about my shot was that it had Apple pucker and cranberry juice in it. Apparently, it had something else. Paula looks at me and asks "What is Crown?"

Me: "I don't know. Why?"

Paula: "Because it's in your shot."

Me: "I'm pretty sure my shot is Vodka. It must be that."

It most certainly was NOT that. The big, burly bartender handed us our shots and 1, 2, 3 we poured 'em down our gullets. HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! My throat is on fire, I may have thrown up inside my stomach and I think my esophagus is disintegrating. It was not delicious. It tasted like it was mixed in the fires of hell and then spit on by Hitler. Once the burning stopped and I could see again I grabbed my phone and, with shaking hands, Googled 'Crown alcohol'. Oh, just whiskey. No big deal.

The next morning we had a lovely buffet at Paris.

It was so cute! The entire place looked like a little Parisian cafe.

We added the unlimited mimosas to our meal and dammit, we were going to get our money's worth. After drinking 3 each, I wasn't sure I could drink another. But we ordered a 4th like a boss and then stared at it. Finally, I told Paula to grab her glass and follow me. I jumped up and walked right out of the restaurant. I turned around and Paula is no where to be found. She soon comes around the corner laughing her ass off. Apparently, I had still had my napkin on my lap so when I jumped up I dropped it on the floor. She had to stop and pick it up and put it back on the table. She was laughing at how purposeful I got up and took off. I'm serious about my mimosas. We walked around the strip with our glasses and soon regretted our decision. Now we had these dumb champagne flutes we had to carry around. You're welcome New York, New York. Enjoy your new glassware.

We spent most of the time in Vegas gambling and lounging by the pool. Our last night there we decided to venture out and check out a gay club. I was shocked to learn that Vegas has little to no LGBT scene. All but one of the gay clubs are located far from the strip. After doing some Google research, I discovered there is a club called Krave in Planet Hollywood. Right by us? Check. LGBT? Check. No cover? Check. Easy decision.

We head over there, all dolled up and looking fab. The place is a ghost town. There are two people in the club and they both look like they are lonely and looking for love...or a one nighter. Still we grab a drink ($8 a beer!) and take a seat at the bar. The music is good but the place is just dead. What kind of gay club is this?! I know, I know. It was a Tuesday. But come on, it's Vegas!

I'm sitting at the bar with Paula and bobbing my head to the music. All of a sudden this cute gaysian boy asks me to dance with him. I jump out on the floor and we bust out our best Mick Jagger moves until I'm exhausted. I go back to my seat at the bar, where I still have my $8 beer, and ask the bartender for a cup of water. He tells me, in all seriousness, they don't have water. They only have bottled water. Really? So you clean the bar back there with saliva and olive juice? I just spent $16 on beer and you can't throw me a plastic glass filled with tap water? Get away from me.

Gay night was sadly a bust so we went back to the hotel instead and gambled some more. I made some of our money back so the night felt like a win.

What did I learn from my early birthday Vegas celebration? Vegas doesn't believe in water and the house always wins.

Them's the breaks.

Back to NY, Day 1.

Well, we decided to move back to NY. You know that that means? Another long drive across the country and the rebirth of our road trip blog.

Keep reading for the next few days of Amber and Paula's Superfantastic Road Trip Travels.

Captains Log

Day 1, 10/7/12

10:00am- We officially leave Torrance. The movers took everything we could stand to be parted with and we took the rest. First stop...mani/pedi's!

We stopped off at our favorite nail salon and got a bit pampered. I talked Paula into a fancy spa pedicure which she immediately regretted. That's what I get for not staying in my lane.

11:53am-Left for Vegas! First stop was to gas up. We filled up the tank for $4.57 a gallon. This road trip is going to bankrupt us at this rate!

1:15pm- We've now entered the land of The Hills Have Eyes. I do not want to get stranded in this place. I'm already picturing some freakshow coming out of the woodwork while I'm stranded on the side of the road and dragging me back to his lair where he collects hair dolls and belly button lint. Get me out of here!

2:07pm- Starting to see a lot of signs for attractions in Vegas. Several have passed by advertising Ventriloquists. We've both now discussed and realized we hate ventriloquists. A) It's creepy. B) We can see your lips moving. You're not fooling anyone. We've also realized we have no idea how to spell ventriloquist. (Thank you spellcheck!)

2:26pm- Are we in Nevada yet? Saw a sign for a California welcome center which usually means we're almost to the border. It's been about a half an hour. Are we there yet? How bout now? Now?

3:26pm- Crossed into Nevada for realsies. Vegas here we come!

3:51pm- Is it Vegas? It's shiny! Nope...False Vegas. Crying ensues.

4:00pm- Helloooooo Vegas! Checked into the Excalibur and promptly went to the bar for a beer, a shot and put some money on roulette.

After checking into our hotel and showering, we walked right over to Planet Hollywood and got the 24 hour buffet pass. 24 hours, unlimited buffets, 6 hotels, $40. So. Worth. It. We gorged ourselves into a glutenous coma and then stumbled back to our hotel. We gambled a bit more, lost a bit more and promptly passed out in our room about 10pm. Hey...it had been a long day.

Total mileage for Day 1: 282 miles
Total Driving time for Day 1: about 4 hours
Total spent for Day 1: roughly $39 for gas, not adding in mani/pedi and Vegas money.

Welcome to Paradise

Captains Log

Day ?, 4/5/10. We stopped for a few days so I'm not sure if I should count this consecutively or not.

We got up nice and early to head out for Los Angeles today. We had a lovely time in Oregon. Paula got some delicious food, tried Disc Golf and loved it, played volleyball and watched home movies of me. My family loves her. Who wouldn't?!

7:15am: We say goodbye to my parents and head out for SoCal.

8:07am: CALIFORNIA! We just crossed the border though its about 11 more hours till SoCal. Our excitement is premature.

California stops everyone soon after you cross the border to ask if you have any fruit or plants in the car. They take this stuff seriously. One little bug or insect could ruin the crops. Paula is amazed and baffled by this. I thought for sure they would search our car because its so full but they took our word for it. We were telling the truth anyways!

Stopped for gas twice. Once was $17 at $3.35/gallon and the second was $10 at $3.09/gallon. We realize that $3 is about standard. Ouch.

I see and In N Out Burger at the second gas stop and lose my head. We can smell burgers and my mouth starts to water. Or drool. We decide to take an early lunch. Paula is a convert. $10.01. I could do without these bible verses though.

4pm: Stop again for gas. $15 at $3.28/gallon

5:41pm: We are passing a lot of livestock big rigs. As we get near one, Paula looks at me and asks "Is that a prison bus?" I look at her to see if she is joking around. That poor girl is serious. I laugh in her face and tell her its a horse prison. I'm so sympathetic. This joke still happens to date.

A few hours later we stop in Torrance for the night. Right as we arrive on the 405 in the South Bay, a Green Day song comes on the radio. And one of the famous lyrics is, "welcome to paradise." I can't believe how eerie that is.

We got a hotel and spent the next day looking at apartments. We found our apartment on day 1. We absolutely love living here and know we made the right move.

We are just a few minutes from the beach too! Its been a difficult journey and we're still getting settled but its all worth it. Every single time I see the smile on her face, I know I'd do it all again for her.

Land of the Beaver

Captains Log

Day 5, 4/2/10

We woke up today in our giant hotel room at a ridiculously early hour. I don't even think the sun was up yet. Our room, by the way, is HUGE. The price we paid for the room is about average. However the room is about the size of a nice apartment. Its awesome. The casino downstairs had a little cafe inside so that is the destination for our bellies this morning. We spent $17 and had the biggest breakfast I have ever seen!! It was yummy. While we were eating, the slot machines were taunting us. We went to go teach them a lesson but instead they stole $2 from us. Time to go now before we lose all our money.

8:32am: Leaving the hotel. Stopped for gas first. Spent $20 at 3.12 a gallon for super.

Somewhere between here and the next time stamp, Paula has discovered cruise control. She has been terrified of cruise control for forever but suddenly I see her using it. Technology has won this battle. She conceded.

10:13am: We have left the safety of I-80 for the backroads of Hwy 95. I'm scared.

Somewhere in here we got gas. In the middle of nowhere. We are driving down Hwy 95 and right as we change to Hwy 140 there is a gas station. Well, a gas pump. This place is a hotel, cafe, bar, general store and gas station. They have one gas pump, a phone booth and a motorcycle sculpture outside. There is nothing else around for miles. This is the kind of place that kills you in your sleep if you stay here. We git our gas and go.

12:32pm: OREGON!!!!

1:05pm: We realize that this Hwy is very windy and long and treacherous. Paula is driving. Suddenly we notice that we have been driving up and up and up. I see a sign for the downgrade ahead. This is basically straight down, in the snow, with no guardrail at 6200 feet. Paula is screaming. Its so exciting!! Paula does not seem as excited.

There is a TON of snow. We went through the Rocky mountains and there was not as much snow as now. It is basically a whiteout and we can't see anything. Thank god there is a truck in front of us so we can follow in their tire tracks. We are going about 9 miles an hour here. After we finally get through this ( I am driving now since Paula has refused after that mountain business) we drive down out of the mountains and to a stoplight. The truck in front of us rolls down their windows and gives us a thumbs up. We made it alive!!!

A little while later, we hit snow again. Ugh!! There is a large Bronco in front of us. Suddenly, they slow down and pull over. They seem ok, so we pass them. Right after we pass them, I see them pull back out and follow us. So let me get this straight...this giant Bronco wants this tiny Prius from New York to navigate the snow first. That makes perfect sense. Douche.

We see a ton of accidents in these mountains and that makes us feel lucky.

3:14pm: We are listening to a random collection of mix cds that bear no indication of what is on them. Its exciting. We jam out to "Its Raining Men." Times like these, we need our own reality show.

Stop for gas in Klamath Falls for $19.00 at $3.02 a gallon. My father thinks we won't be to their house for hours and hours. I tell him we will be there by 6:30pm. He doesn't believe me.

6:15pm: IT'S THE CLIMATE! We arrive in Grants Pass earlier than I thought. Take that daddy-o.

Now for some relaxation before we leave for L.A.

Total mileage for Day 5: 445 miles (One of the lowest mileage days but felt like the longest. Damn that snow)

Total Driving Time for Day 5: 10 hours

Total cost for Day 5: $58.

Dance your cares away...

Captains Log

Day 4, 4/1/10

Started off earlier again. Everyday is earlier and earlier. These damn time changes are messing with our internal clocks. The Motel 6 we stopped at does not believe in Continental breakfast. Or bathtubs. There is a reason this room is so cheap. Their breakfast consisted of coffee and tea. That's it. Time for plan B.

8:51am: Leaving hotel. Need to stop for gas and breakfast. Filled up the tank for $21.00 at 2.73 a gallon. The forecast for today is cold and snowy. Awesome. Stopped for a cheap-o McDonald's breakfast in Laramie, Wyoming. We wanted to stop in Laramie to pay silent tribute to Matthew Shepard. He was a 21 year old kid who was tortured, beaten and murdered because he was gay. A tragedy. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matthew_Shepard

12:50pm: Stopped and got gas again. Spent $20.00 at $3.04 a gallon. Ouch. We also got to stop at Sonic because I've been dying for a red slush. I AM SO EXCITED!!!! $8.00

1:54pm: Discovered Paula had a secret mix cd of all songs sung by puppets. I am serious as a heart attack. We just had a jam session to "Down in Fraggle Rock." It was equally awesome and weird at the same time. Thank god we have each other.

2:30pm: Just saw a billboard for "Wyoming's ONLY female OB/GYN." WTF?! This has left me with so many questions.

2:33pm: HELLO UTAH!! Paula is on the lookout for punk kids as we drive through SLC.

4:00pm: Last stop for gasoline. This is the nicest gas station ever. There is a big screen TV in the bathroom. I get to watch the news after I pee. This must be what its like to be rich. Wow. $18.50 at $3.19/gallon for supreme. And we got Krispy Kreme donuts. mmmmmmm. $3.73.

5:30pm: Entering the land of prostitutes and money..aka Nevada.

5:40pm: TIME CHANGE!! We are now officially on Pacific Standard Time. It feels good to be home. It is now 4:40pm.

6:02pm: Stopped for the night in Elko, Nevada. We are staying at Stockman's Hotel and Casino. So awesome.

We went out to a nice dinner at this place called Machi's. The food was fantastical. I had the best mexican food I've had in years. Paula had fantastic spaghetti of some sort. Ended up being $51.73 with tips. That was entrees, dessert, appetizer, beer and tips. Not bad at all.

Then we gambled. We only did slot machines because we were scared and there were no roulette tables. We lost $30 but then made back $20. Yay!!

It is time for bed. Almost there!!

Total mileage for Day 4: 677 miles

Total Driving Time for Day 4: 10 hours (without the time change. With it, only 9)

Total cost for Day 4: $191.85

Holy Crap!!

Captains Log

Day 3, 3/31/10

We're up even earlier today and head down for another delicious waffle breakfast. Mmmm. This one is delicious, though not as big of a spread as the night before. There was honestly, nothing left to steal for snacks later. We got our fill though and then got ready to head out.

9:02am: Leave the hotel and get some gas down the street. Gas was $2.71 for super unleaded and it cost us $16.00 to fill the tank.

9:57am: Oh my god! The stench of cow manure is so overwhelming that we thought we might vomit. Paula has never experienced this before.

12:32pm: We arrive in Nebraska!!

1:00pm: We stop at an Information Center to try and get a travel/hotel coupon book. They are out of them.

1:35pm: Stopped for gas in Lincoln, Nebraska. This is the capital city. Super unleaded was 2.65/gallon and it took $15 to fill. We later found out that the reason Super unleaded is cheaper than regular is because Nebraska is the corn state and Ethanol is made from corn. Super is full of Ethanol here.

We discovered two things about Nebraska while driving through. A) Nebraska has some good rock radio. B) Nebraska loves Joan Jett. Serious.

Oh, and the speed limit here is 75MPH!! This is awesome!!

3:46pm: Officially in Western Nebraska. I also realize this means we are only halfway through. Ugh!

4:30pm: We need gas again. We pull off in the middle of nowhere. Seriously. We pull off of I80 to this little Mom and Pop gas station/store with a Dairy Queen and that's all that is around for miles. There is one poor teenage boy running the gas station, general store and Dairy Queen. I told him he should get a raise. We get gas and blizzards. Gas is 3.09/gallon and we spend $20 to fill.

As we are pulling out of the gas station, we see a junkyard across the street. Or maybe just someone's yard who happens to be a hoarder. It looks like its got the normal junk of dead cars and refrigerators etc. Then we see it....a plane. A PLANE!! I make Paula stop so we can discuss this for a moment. As we get back on the interstate, we also see a giant boat in their side yard. Where the hell are we?!

5:10pm: TIME CHANGE! It is now 4:10pm and we are in Mountain Time. I hope this means TV goes back to normal.

4:47pm: I saw a camel. Though it may have been an Emu. Paula then points out that an Emu is a bird. So maybe it was a Llama. Whatever. I saw it.

We discovered that I80 is parallel to the original Oregon Trail. An entire discussion about how much that must have sucked to do with just a covered wagon and an ox ensues.

Saw a sign for Buffalo Bill's Ranch. Visions of Silence Of the Lambs danced in our heads and we decided against it.

We thought all of these cows we kept seeing were so cute. Paula had never seen so many cows. We especially loved seeing the baby cows. But the stench.....holy methane!

5:20pm: Our original destination to stop for the night was going to be Sydney, Nebraska. However, once we got there I refused to stop. I was afraid. I really think there may have been hill people. All I could think of was The Hills Have Eyes. We decided to keep going.

5:55pm: I played "air jug" to Devil Went Down To Georgia on the radio. Paula thought this was hilarious. I will mention that she played "air violin". Don't let her lie to you.

6:09pm: We arrive in Wyoming and are EXHAUSTED. We learn that Wyoming's motto is "Forever West" and their nickname is "The Equality State". Their nickname is BS. Ever hear of Mathew Sheppard? Look it up and tell me why the hell this is the equality state?

7:00pm: Checked into a Motel 6 in Cheyenne, $49. Staying in the capital city. We look up somewhere to get dinner and find this great steakhouse called Little Bear Inn. Its about 10 miles away. We freshen up and head over to the restaurant. The restaurant is out in the middle of the highway with nothing around. No other building, no lights, no anything. As we are walking up to the door of the restaurant, an older woman comes out and tells us they closed. I check the time to make sure we are there at a reasonable hour. She proceeds to tell us the following:

"The well ran out of water so we had to close early."

I'm sorry. What? Excuse me? Did you just say that you had to close your restaurant because THE WELL RAN OUT OF WATER?! WHERE ARE WE???? We walk back to the car and Paula bursts into laughter the second we get back in. She is dumbfounded that this actually happened. She tells everyone she can.

We end up going to Outback Steakhouse, which was recommended to us by the hotel clerk as a "great steakhouse." The waitress doesn't believe I am 21 and thinks my license is phony. She gives me beer anyways. Now, we have been driving for 11 hours. The original restaurant plan fell through. This jerkoff can't read a license and I'm pissed now. Paula keeps telling me to relax because the waitress is going to spit in all of my food.

Finally we get back to the hotel and pass out at 9:30pm. Never in my life have I fallen asleep so early.

Its been a long day.


Total mileage for Day 3: 745 miles

Total Driving Time for Day 3: 11 hours (without the time change. With it, only 10)

Total cost for Day 3: $108 approximately (We are not letting our gas go below 1/4 of a tank, just in case we don't see a gas station for awhile.)

Hello Cleveland!!

Captains Log

Day 2, 3/30/10.

We're up a little before our 8:30am alarm and then head downstairs to the free continental breakfast.

Its quite a spread! Juice, coffee, waffles, eggs, biscuits and gravy and more!! We fill our bellies full and then head back to our room to get ready for the day.

10:07am: We leave the hotel and stop at the gas station next door to fill up. $14.01. Gas is $2.69 a gallon here. We discover that the Amex gift cards we were given should not be swiped at the pump for gas. If you swipe a gift card at the pump, the gas station will put a hold on THE ENTIRE AMOUNT OF THE CARD! They also won't release the hold for 3-7 business days. Both of our gift cards are now unusable for the next 3-7 days. They were worth $150. We are absolutely furious at Amex for this.

Paula sees a sign for Cleveland not long after we head out and screams "Hello Cleveland!"

She had to do it.

10:22am: We get our ticket for the Ohio turnpike.

10:32am: Did our algebraic computations for the day and developed a fairly accurate formula. Paula is impressed by my formula skills. I am impressed at the fact she can do all this math in her head.

11:10am: Stop at the service plaza for lozenges for my cough and a coffee. $7.35

1:37pm: Paid a toll of $13.50 to the Ohio turnpike and arrived in Indiana. Toll ticket here as well.

1:47pm: Stopped for gas. Put in $20.00 to fill it and it was $3.09 a gallon. I almost cried. We also got some snacks, $11.00.

2:46pm: Hit 300 miles done so far for the day. That's a little less than half our daily goal for the rest of the trip.

3:05pm: Crossed the time zone border. We are now in Central Standard Time and it is now 2:05pm. We are both equally weirded out by this.

2:45pm: Paid the Indiana toll ticket of 6.75, though we are still in Indiana. I learned that it is the Hoosier state.

2:52pm: After discovering a CD with a song I love on it by the band 7 Year Bitch, I conclude that Paula MUST see the movie Mad Love. I am shocked she has never seen it. Will remedy when we get to L.A. Mental note was made.

2:55pm: Entered Illinois.

3:02pm: Paid a $0.60 toll to enter Illinois. Paula is shocked at how inexpensive this one is. I believe this is the last toll we will see.

3:45pm: Had to stop for gas AGAIN! My Prius is averaging about 35MPH. There are a lot of inclines which lowers my gas mileage. Also the car is packed very heavily and we are traveling at a high, but safe, speed. This is upsetting me. I am very anxious for the flat lands of the country.
Gas was $19.27. Around $2.99 a gallon.

?pm: Somewhere between the previous time and the next, I decided to secretly videotape Paula driving. I caught her almost driving off the road and breaking out in dance. Then she caught me. It was totally worth it. We also saw someone burning their crop fields and Paula is amazed at this process.

Paula is also shocked at how flat this part of the country is. I cannot wait to see her reaction to the Rocky Mountains. Those NY'ers don't know what a mountain is.

5:25pm: We FINALLY arrive in Iowa. It has felt like it took forever to get out of Illinois. I don't know what it was but it seemed like it just never ended. We also are very excited because gay marriage is legal here in Iowa. Yay for gays!

6:45pm: Stopped for the night in Coralville, IA at a hotel that has a fantastic breakfast to look forward too. We tried twice to stop at rest areas to get the hotel coupons and they were completely out of them. Tonight's room was $61.55 with tax.

We went out to dinner at Country Buffet and stuffed ourselves till we thought we'd be sick. Our plan for this trip by the way, is to eat the free breakfast, spend as little money on snacks as possible but not stop for lunch, and then have a nice dinner. Its working so far. Dinner was $25.

Thank god Paula realized that TV in CST is different. Lost was on at 8, instead of 9. I almost missed it!

Total mileage for Day 1: 620 miles

Total Driving Time for Day 1: 9 hours (without the time change. With it, only 8)

Total cost for Day 1: $168.03 (We bought 3 tanks of gas today, whereas yesterday we started off with an almost full tank from a few days prior and only had to buy 1 tank of gas the whole day)

And away we go.....

Captains Log

Day 1, 3/29/10.

We get up around 8am and start packing the car. We definitely were a little too optimistic about what could fit in our Toyota Prius. The fact that both of us have horrible depth perception didn't help matters.

We quickly realized that all of our stuff was not going to fit. Paula went through two huge containers and took only what was necessary and left the rest. I got rid of about 10 pairs of shoes, all our board games except for one, as well as my longboard. I also left my PA system. It was the PA or our clothes. Clothes won. Paula took her guitars, but had to leave the cases. In the process of removing the guitars from the cases, her Gibson fell and a tuning peg broke off. This halted our progress for awhile as there was a lot of screaming and yelling. I broke down in tears several times as the packing of the car was taking quite a toll on me.

Also, it was pouring rain on Long Island. So we were frustrated, upset, soaking wet and about to change our lives forever. What a great start.

Paula's BFF Lisa came over to say goodbye and thank god she was there. She helped us both calm down and relax. Lisa decided she was going to mail us everything we had to leave behind and sell the PA system for us. She was an angel from heaven! That made us feel LOADS better and in no time we were ready to head out.

We made one last trip to the bank and then headed over to our favorite neighborhood bagel store to get our last New York bagel. Who knows when we will get to have another one!

After we got our bagel's and coffee, we were off.

10:48am: We start to leave Long Island with our bellies full.

We decided to take the Southern State to the Throgs Neck Bridge. Then take I95 to I80.

Southern State moved quickly but we were horribly delayed once we got to the Bronx.

It cost $5.50 to cross the bridge and then we were on I95.

12:11pm: We cross the GWB (George Washington Bridge for you non-New Yorkers) for free and head into NJ.

skip ahead, skip ahead, skip ahead

1:32pm: We spend $0.75 to leave NJ and head into Pennsylvania

2:00pm: We stop for gas at a WaWa in whoknowswhere, PA. Cost: $22.

Where the hell can I find a red slushie?! It's all I want in the world.

2:51pm: Listening to our CD mix that Lisa made us. We rapped. These are the times we think we should have our own reality show. We're quite entertaining.

4:00pm: Stopped for drinks and a snack. $4.85

5:45pm: Did algebraic computations and tried to come up with a formula for how long it would take us to get where we were going.

6:22pm: Finally arrive in Ohio!! This is where we decide to stop for the night. It's been a long day and we hardly slept the night before.

We checked into a hotel around Youngstown, OH and walked over to the Roadhouse for dinner and a much needed beer. We thought it was too awesome that we were at Roadhouse and couldn't stop saying it.

Our waiter continued to stand there and talk to us while we tried to eat and tell us about his Muy Thai fighting. Paula thinks he was hitting on me. We decide from now on we will make up a fake story about ourselves.

Dinner was dirt cheap. I was amazed that a beer was only $2.50. Total cost for dinner with appetizers, beer and entrees, plus tip...$30.00.

We had a coupon for our hotel as well which helped a bit with the cost. Our total for the hotel was $59.60. We know we could have stayed somewhere even cheaper, but we'd like to not have to worry about our room getting broken into and we'd like to enjoy a comfortable night sleep.

We're back in the room just in time to watch 24.

Total mileage for Day 2: 436 miles.

Total Driving Time for Day 2: 7 1/2 hours, roughly. That traffic in NJ ruined us.

Total cost for Day 2: $125.70