Day 2-3, 10/8/12 and 10/9/12
The next two days we spent in Vegas. We didn't keep track of time and barely even had our cell phones on us. It was a lovely vacation away from regular life and a chance to reconnect with nature...oh, wait. It was a chance to gamble and stuff our faces!
We gambled a lot, won some, lost more but had fun overall. I love roulette. I don't care how many people tell me that it's the worst game in the house. It's the most fun and when that little white ball of loveliness lands on my number it feels like Gwen Stefani sat down beside me, gave me a big kiss and handed me a million bucks. Don't naysay my love.
We walked around a bit and checked out the other hotels. Walking through New York, New York we stopped at Coyote Ugly to do a shot. It was $8 a shot and you got to keep the cute little shot glass. Sold! Paula chose a Kamikaze and I went with a Washington Apple. All I knew about my shot was that it had Apple pucker and cranberry juice in it. Apparently, it had something else. Paula looks at me and asks "What is Crown?"
Me: "I don't know. Why?"
Paula: "Because it's in your shot."
Me: "I'm pretty sure my shot is Vodka. It must be that."
It most certainly was NOT that. The big, burly bartender handed us our shots and 1, 2, 3 we poured 'em down our gullets. HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! My throat is on fire, I may have thrown up inside my stomach and I think my esophagus is disintegrating. It was not delicious. It tasted like it was mixed in the fires of hell and then spit on by Hitler. Once the burning stopped and I could see again I grabbed my phone and, with shaking hands, Googled 'Crown alcohol'. Oh, just whiskey. No big deal.
The next morning we had a lovely buffet at Paris.
It was so cute! The entire place looked like a little Parisian cafe.
We added the unlimited mimosas to our meal and dammit, we were going to get our money's worth. After drinking 3 each, I wasn't sure I could drink another. But we ordered a 4th like a boss and then stared at it. Finally, I told Paula to grab her glass and follow me. I jumped up and walked right out of the restaurant. I turned around and Paula is no where to be found. She soon comes around the corner laughing her ass off. Apparently, I had still had my napkin on my lap so when I jumped up I dropped it on the floor. She had to stop and pick it up and put it back on the table. She was laughing at how purposeful I got up and took off. I'm serious about my mimosas. We walked around the strip with our glasses and soon regretted our decision. Now we had these dumb champagne flutes we had to carry around. You're welcome New York, New York. Enjoy your new glassware.
We spent most of the time in Vegas gambling and lounging by the pool. Our last night there we decided to venture out and check out a gay club. I was shocked to learn that Vegas has little to no LGBT scene. All but one of the gay clubs are located far from the strip. After doing some Google research, I discovered there is a club called Krave in Planet Hollywood. Right by us? Check. LGBT? Check. No cover? Check. Easy decision.
We head over there, all dolled up and looking fab. The place is a ghost town. There are two people in the club and they both look like they are lonely and looking for love...or a one nighter. Still we grab a drink ($8 a beer!) and take a seat at the bar. The music is good but the place is just dead. What kind of gay club is this?! I know, I know. It was a Tuesday. But come on, it's Vegas!
I'm sitting at the bar with Paula and bobbing my head to the music. All of a sudden this cute gaysian boy asks me to dance with him. I jump out on the floor and we bust out our best Mick Jagger moves until I'm exhausted. I go back to my seat at the bar, where I still have my $8 beer, and ask the bartender for a cup of water. He tells me, in all seriousness, they don't have water. They only have bottled water. Really? So you clean the bar back there with saliva and olive juice? I just spent $16 on beer and you can't throw me a plastic glass filled with tap water? Get away from me.
Gay night was sadly a bust so we went back to the hotel instead and gambled some more. I made some of our money back so the night felt like a win.
What did I learn from my early birthday Vegas celebration? Vegas doesn't believe in water and the house always wins.
Them's the breaks.
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